Pastor Bud's Buzz 2011
Pastor Bud's Buzz 2010
Pastor Bud's Buzz 2009
Pastor Bud's Buzz 2008
Pastor Bud's Buzz 2007
Pastor Bud's Buzz 2006
I have pulled together some of the results of my research on Volunteerism into
a Blog entitled, “Good for Nothing” which can be found at:
Pastor Bud's Blog on Volunteerism.
JANUARY 2012
Pastor Bud's Buzz
I call this monthly Jotter article “Pastor Bud’s Buzz” because it’s an opportunity to talk about what’s creating a buzz for me. The word “buzz’ can be an example of “onomatopoeia”, as when a word imitates or suggests the sound it describes, for example “snap, crackle and pop!” I can’t remember the last time I leaned into a bowl of freshly milk laden Rice Krispies anticipating that distinctive sound. Like most folks I’m inclined to detect patterns of sight and sound in the world around me. I suppose, if I had not been prepared by those catchy commercials, I would have heard something, but it would not have been “snap, crackle and pop” and I would not have had such a personal relationship with my bowl of breakfast cereal.
In this Jotter article I use “buzz” as the sound of activity or the sound of excited conversation about something. So what’s my buzz right now as we move into the holiday season? Like Ellen Nielsen, President of our Congregation, I am thinking about the journey ahead as we engage in the process of coming to shared expectations about how we will be in relationship to each other. By mid-December, Bill Ternent, Steve Segner and I will have proposed a way to engage all of you in the process of developing our agreement of how we will live our UU values in our relationships with each other. I’m convinced that looking at what others have done is a good way to prepare for our process. I have begun searching the Internet and have captured examples of the work of other Unitarian Universalist congregations who have developed their own agreements or covenants. If you have access to the Internet you can search on “Covenant of Right Relations UU” and find many of the same resources I have. I have copied a lot of these web pages and will make them available by email, on our own congregation’s web site or by other means.
Developing an agreement that we all have a part in crafting can take time and effort, but even as we work on it, we will be part of the buzz of activity, engaged in the buzz of excited conversation. This buzz has the power to change the way we see ourselves and one another, the power to change how we see the world and how the world sees us.
I hope that whatever our diverse beliefs, whatever our diverse world views we can agree that manifesting love in our world is at the center of who we are and what we do. Whether we call it a covenant of right relations or an agreement of how we will act toward one another, whatever we call it, when we are successful we will produce a very loud buzz, the sound of love. --Stay tuned
DECEMBER Pastor Buds Buzz
Pastor Bud’s Buzz
Have a Happy Holiday and consider the advice often given for having a happy holiday, lower your expectations, including the expectation to have a happy holiday. Often the biggest source of unhappiness is the stress we cause ourselves attempting to measure up to our elevated expectations and the real or imagined expectations of others. My holiday wish for you is that you experience each moment as it unfolds. Thich Nhat Hanh declares from the calendar in our kitchen “The world of peace and joy is at our fingertips. We only need to touch it.” May you touch the world of peace and joy that surrounds you, during this Holiday Season and throughout the New Year!
---Stay tuned
Referrences for Pastor Bud's Sermon December 5 2010
NOVEMBER Pastor Buds Buzz
Pastor Bud’s Buzz
In November the Tapestry of Faith Curriculum and my pulpit themes will focus on “Listening.”
A “stethoscope” is the tool from the Toolbox of Faith. I remember being surprised when I
learned for the first time that some toolboxes contain stethoscopes. They are used for
tracking down what might be wrong with a motor or other mechanical device. Unlike the
receiver end of a medical stethoscope with its flat shape and drum like covering that is used
to magnify the sounds coming from a person’s heart or lungs, the receiver end of a
mechanic’s stethoscope is a long hollow tube that can be placed on an engine part and
isolates the source of a sound that may indicate a problem. The primary purpose of focusing
on the stethoscope is to emphasize what an important role listening has in our relationships
with others in our community and how important listening is to our individual faith
development. I am always impressed when someone listens to me and demonstrates their
understanding of what I am saying by being able to reflect back to me my meaning. I am
even more impressed when they tentatively reflect back the feelings I am having that have
prompted me to speak. I remember reading a textbook when I was studying to be a
counselor. The two authors of the book had evaluated the success of many different
counselors using many different theories of counseling. What they found was that no matter
what theory the counselors used, the successful counselors had three qualities: empathy,
warmth and understanding. These qualities are present in all effective communications.
Counselors didn’t invent empathy, warmth and understand. The successful counselors
knew, that those three qualities are present in any effective relationship, any relationship that
helps us grow. The counselors that were often the most helpful kept those qualities of
empathy, warmth and understanding in their communication as they inquired about what was
happening in the lives of those who came for their help. They kept those three qualities of
empathy, warmth and understanding in their communication when they suggested those who
came for their help consider some new or different way of thinking, feeling or acting. And
they were always ready to move from advocating for what could be, back to inquiring about
what was.
One of my biggest challenges is listening when someone is telling me that something I have
done is a problem for them. I feel blamed and tend to focus on what is not true about what
they are saying rather than what is true. When I focus on what I think is not true, they may
not feel listened to and they might intensify their message in order to get through to me. This
defensiveness and intensification doesn’t encourage the empathy, warmth and
understanding that I know is more effective. A number of the members of our congregation,
some of them in leadership roles are committed to taking the time and energy to
communicate with me so that our communication has more of the empathy, warmth and
understanding that can help us grow into the community we aspire to be. This
communication takes time and patience, but I am optimistic that it is moving in a desirable
direction. I will keep you informed about our progress. –Namaste
Dear Members and Friends,
I wrote a Reconciliation Update in the Jotter that involved an email exchange between Kurtland Davies and myself. Inadvertently, the second page of my response was left out of the Jotter. Kurtland brought this to my attention and suggested that I could send the complete article out in an email to the Members and Friends and include his entire email to me while I was doing it. I have inserted his letter and my response below.
Pastor Bud
Hello Bud,
I am deeply disappointed in your report to the semiannual congregational meeting. Gaia asked you to try to reduce the anxiety of the congregation by honestly sharing the process we have been experiencing. You responded that you would write something into your minister’s report and circulate it to leadership for feedback and editing before The meeting. Instead, you wrote no report and delivered yet another metaphor that clarified nothing. What I heard was that too many people are putting too many expectations on you to the point where you might explode. It seems to me that this does not help in alleviating anxiety. Instead it continues make wrong the people who have spent many hours trying to honestly work with you toward understanding and seeking solutions. You may have again left the congregation with the impression that a small group of people are demanding too much of you.
You also said that you need to sort through the expectations to find those you can live with. Let me review the expectations that you and I have discussed.
We asked you to work on your self-expression when feeling pressure, so you use
messages rather than just talk abut using them.
If you do make mistakes which hurt others, we ask you to remedy the situation by making timely, sincere apologies.
We have also asked you not to put people who confront you on an enemies list but instead look at them as your teachers.
Some of us also expect you to deliver sermons that inspire and we hope to hear sharing of your personal journey instead of depending so much on the words of others.
We asked you to be more of a consultant rather than jumping into issues that are board issues, like the audit.
I fail to see why you would need to sort through these expectations that you have already agreed to change. I also do not see these expectations as contradictory.
My sense is you did not intend to vilify us. But it does seem difficult for you to share with the congregation a clear sense of your part of the responsibility for the problems. I also sense that much of the congregation and a number of board members just want this whole thing to disappear. As long as this is the case, we will never find a stronger community on the other side.
Kurtland
I responded:
Kurtland,
Thank you for taking the time to express your deep disappointment over my failure to honestly share the process we have been experiencing and for articulating your expectations.
Your disappointment includes a number of failures on my part and I would like to acknowledge them.
I did mention to Gaia that I was going to attempt a straightforward description at the semi-annual meeting of what has been happening to relieve the anxiety folks may be feeling. Her email shared some of the same concerns you have expressed.
As I thought about that simple explanation I found it difficult to construct. Something this complex, does not lend itself to simple explanations. I share your desire to reduce the anxiety that individuals may be experiencing. I feel that moving forward: taking care of the tasks at hand, clarifying how we will be with one another in the future, so that we can resolve issues before they seem scary and irresolvable, and continuing the conversation, including this one, will have the effect of reducing everyone's anxiety levels.
(The part below was missing from the Jotter)
I want to acknowledge you and all the others who have spent many hours working with me toward understanding and solutions. Your expectations are consistent with our moving forward.
1. I will strive for effective self-expression. Every time I use an "I" message of self disclosure rather than a "You" message of blame, I contribute to our becoming the compassionate community that we all aspire to be. Further, when I send an "I" message I have an opportunity to "Active Listen" to the reactions others may have to my "I" message. This can also reduce the potential for escalation and anxiety. I share your belief that saying I am committed to using these skills is not nearly as effective as using them.
2. If I do or say anything that brings unnecessary hurt, and I am aware of that hurt I will apologize. I invite anyone who feels hurt to let me know, preferably with an "I" message and I will be receptive to that communication preferably with 'Active Listening'.
3. I will look to people who confront me as my teachers and encourage them to confront me with compassion.
4. I will always make efforts to present pulpit messages that inspire, and because some have expressed their preference for less dependence on the words of others and more sharing of my personal journey I will make an effort to do so. I will encourage those present to share their feedback in whatever way they can so that I can continue to be more effective in conveying my message.
5. I commit to clarifying my role as a consultant and share my opinions appropriately while avoiding the appearance that I am attempting to control the direction of the Board of Directors.
I look forward to building strong relationships that can take us into a desirable and sustainable future.
Pastor Bud Murphy
An Update on Reconciliation
In our ongoing effort to keep the healing conversation going face-to-face communication is usually more productive than email communication. But I received an email from Kurtland Davies recently that focused on the expectations some members have and I wrote him a response. I printed my response out and asked him to read it and asked if it would be O.K. for me to print it in the Jotter as a way of acknowledging our progress. He agreed. His email listed the following expectations:
1. We expect you to work on your self-expression when feeling pressure so you use
messages rather than just talk about using them.
2. If you do make mistakes which hurt others, we ask you to remedy the situation by making timely, sincere apologies.
3. We have also asked you not to put people who confront you on an enemies list but instead look at them as your teachers.
4. Some of us also expect you to deliver sermons that inspire and we hope to hear sharing of your personal journey instead of depending so much on the words of others.
5. We asked you to be more of a consultant rather than jumping into issues that are board issues, like the audit.
I responded:
Kurtland,
Thank you for taking the time to express your deep disappointment over my failure to honestly share the process we have been experiencing and for articulating your expectations.
Your disappointment includes a number of failures on my part and I would like to acknowledge them.
I did mention to Gaia that I was going to attempt a straightforward description at the semi-annual meeting of what has been happening to relieve the anxiety folks may be feeling. Her email shared some of the same concerns you have expressed.
As I thought about that simple explanation I found it difficult to construct. Something this complex, does not lend itself to simple explanations. I share your desire to reduce the anxiety that individuals may be experiencing. I feel that moving forward: taking care of the tasks at hand, clarifying how we will be with one another in the future, so that we can resolve issues before they seem scary and irresolvable, and continuing the conversation, including this one, will have the effect of reducing everyone’s anxiety levels.
October 2010
Pastor Bud’s Buzz
October’s pulpit theme is “Courage and Conviction” As I begin capturing my thoughts for the October Jotter, I am saddened by the news of Greg Camps passing and comforted by his friend Nina’s description of his passing “…surrounded by family and friends.” Greg Camp impressed me with his quiet courage and conviction.
My pulpit theme for October “Courage and Conviction” is symbolized by “Saddlebags.” We are invited to see our present “Unitarian Universalism faith as part of a long tradition of courageous leadership in matters of the spirit, exemplified by the early pioneers of the Universalist movement who traveled (by mule or horseback with saddlebags) and preached, often at great peril, because they believed strongly in religion that values faith, hope and love over anger, punishment and fear.” Saddlebags are not part of our contemporary experience. On the other hand we often hear the comment that someone is carrying baggage. It is usually meant to be a disparaging or cautionary comment. We assume that some experience a person is carrying with them from the past will influence how they deal with the present. I’ve done a little trail hiking, carrying what I thought would meet my needs for a couple of days. Those seemingly little extras that I thought I needed, added to the weight of my pack and it wasn’t long before my priorities began to shift and I was rethinking what I needed to have and what was nice to have. As challenging as it is to sort out that useful equipment, it is even more of a challenge to sort out the experiences of our past and decide what is useful and what is better to leave behind. At first it seems that all of us would benefit from carrying Courage and Conviction with us. “Conviction” as a strongly held belief or faith gives us a sense of direction as we move forward. “Courage” lets us move forward even when we see threats ahead, even when we are fearful about where our chosen path is taking us.
Our challenge becomes more complex when we realize the role that “Wisdom” plays. Which of our beliefs are imbued with “truth?” When is my courage a “righteous determination” and when is it “stubborn resistance” to see the journey through a different lens. One of the best sources of advice is fellow travelers, especially those who look like they’ve put in a lot of miles and seemed to have mastered the art of knowing what they should carry along on their journey. I hope we have lots of opportunities to sit around the campfires of fellowship on our journey together and share wisdom from the trail so that all of us become wiser than any of us and we will be able to meet each new stretch in our journey with that quiet courage and conviction.
Stay tuned.
September 2010
Pastor Bud’s Buzz
Pastor Bud’s Buzz
A while back, I thanked Suzanne Bond and her Hospitality Team for their “radical hospitality.” She wrote back
questioning what I meant by “radical hospitality.” I’ll have to admit the first time I heard the phrase “radical
hospitality” I wasn’t sure what it meant either, but as I read more about “radical hospitality” I began to realize
how it is one of the core values we Unitarian Universalist aspire to make happen in our everyday lives. Simply
put “radical hospitality” is welcoming the stranger as our own. Since I think it is one of our core values let me
share some of Rev. Megan Conrad’s thoughts on this topic. Rev. Megan Conrad, a UU Minister
